Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
