I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
