Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The best revenge is premature balding
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
