I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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