I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
