It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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