We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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