Well apparently he's into motor boating.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
