Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
should my penis look like a turkey
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
