Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
