either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
