god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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