You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
