very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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