he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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