do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
