So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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