You're my little dorito
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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