Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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