how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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