Sponge bath it is.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
