I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
