Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
