I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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