I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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