taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
try to milk me bitch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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