Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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