dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
