I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
