There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
