3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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