ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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