you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
