are you still at the devil's house?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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