Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
