Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
