nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
