Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
