Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
