Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
