He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
