my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
