life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
