Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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