i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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