HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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