Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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