and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
