i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
