What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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