Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize