Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
