I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
