i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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