Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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