another moral hangover. fuck.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize