This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pooping to opera.
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