I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
