:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
