If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
