There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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