I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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