You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
