i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
