yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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