I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
