put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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