She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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