scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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