Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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