I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
