Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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