If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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