her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
